Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Passport Appointment Day

The day started at 6:30 am with Thumbelina wanting out of bed in desperation to run to her beloved Mama. We brought her back to bed and after a bit of struggle and running to the door, she got tired and gave up and fell back asleep. We got dressed and went to have breakfast. After that, as a distraction we went to a mall across the other side of the street and walked a bit. We bought her a new pair of shoes because the ones we brought her were too big. ☺ 
Afterwards we went to Toys R Us to let her pick out something she liked. She hasn’t been playing much, so Luis suggested we let her choose. As soon as we walked in there was a tub full of small inflatable toys. We showed it to her and she immediately picked up a pink one. Nothing else caught her attention. After a bit of exploring, we went back to the hotel. I showered and started getting ready and got the girls ready to go to the Police Station to apply for her passport. Once we got there, the families that had their family day and adoption day the same as ours were there. There’s a Spanish family and we chatted with them a bit. It’s interesting that their guide speaks fluent Spanish. But of course. A French family was also there and their little boy came up to me and put his arms up for me to carry him. I immediately got his little hand and redirected him to his mommy. Children from orphanages tend to have indiscriminate affection and will ask anyone to pick them up. With one or two nannies per shift for a room full of 30 babies or more, there’s no time to pick them all up. And also with the rotation of so many caregivers, they want attention from whoever will give it to them. These babies don’t understand the concept of family. That mom is just another nanny to him at the moment. It’s very important for attachment purposes that only the parents take care of the child’s basic needs for a while. The child needs to learn that parents meet all their needs. They don’t have to rely on anyone else. But that takes a while. Clear boundaries have to be set in order for the child to learn. 
Marli was interested today in sitting close to the Spanish family. Probably to be close to another little girl like her. I wasn’t too concerned as I know that Marli knows the concept of family and wouldn’t be mommy-shopping. The only mommy she really wants is the Foster Mama. Yikes. But she knows we’re the parents. She calls me “Mammy” and her foster mom “Mama”. She makes that distinction. 
It was our turn and I had to pick Marli up and they put a little camera to her face and snapped a passport picture. Go figure! We received our red book with the Adoption Certificate and her Birth Certificate. Then we exchanged information with the Spaniards and were on our way back to the hotel. We dressed the girls in their swimming costumes and went down to the pool. When we got downstairs it was pouring. So much for swimming. We went back to the room and hung out. Marli was doing some funny things. She sat on Daddy’s lap and started slapping him on the chest. Sort of how she did with Mila yesterday. I think this is her way of letting her guard down and awkwardly having contact. She was so cute though. And despite her still grieving and screaming out for her Mama, she’s doing better and attaching ever so slowly to us. We have planned to go visit the orphanage on Friday and also her home. I feel it’s important for her to go back to her home with us. It will be extremely hard when it’s time to leave, but hopefully this will bring closure and she’ll feel less anxious about being with us. 
Tomorrow is our Medical Appointment. All American families’ children being adopted have to do this check before going to the US consulate appointment. We will go to different stations to check for different things. Except one station – where they do the TB test, they take your child and close the door. Then a couple of minutes later they bring your child back screaming, of course. And although I am hating this part; and I can stand my ground and NOT let them take her… I also know from previous families that this step helps the children really come around and bond with you. Let’s see what Mama Bear will do tomorrow. I also know that interestingly, there’s a wine vending machine in the Medical Center. LOL. Um, yes, please. ☺ We all need a little wine after that! 

1 comment:

  1. It's great to here all the transitions. Slowly but surely she will come around. Be patient and we will pray that sooner than later she will get use to her new beautiful family that loves her so dearly.
    I enjoy reading your blog and getting the updates Lu. Lots of love! Frances