Saturday, March 8, 2014


Well I have no idea what this could mean. But it is beyond my control. The one thing I can do, is perhaps be a vehicle, a link. This is a complete twist of events.
You see, my boy hasn't been matched after all. It was bizarre how I came across this piece of information. I was minding my own little business having a short latte at St@rbux while hubby paid for groceries at C@rrefour. I was taking advantage of a little free wifi; checking Faceb00k when I see a post about a little girl that is so cute. I click on the link and BAM! I'm smacked in the face by a picture of my boy. The timing of such occurrence is what intrigues me the most (that's a-whole-nother post for sometime in the future). SIGH. So, I see my boy there - among so many other sweet children with also scary special needs. And I hyperventilate. My husband is walking towards me. Mila is saying "Tommy! Tommy!" and I'm saying "It's Tommy!!! What does this mean? What could this mean?????" For a month we've been thinking he's been matched with a family, God knows where. (Are they in Europe? US? Wheeerrreeee?????) I pretty much sounded like a mad woman. A quiet one though, but I wanted to shout. I was shouting on the inside.  Why is this happening? Why am I the one to find this out? No one in Chin@ knows this. What am I to do? Is this child meant for me? He's being presented to me on a silver platter. Will hubby see that too? Am I to pray harder? What am I to do? I need time. I tell my Angel in Ch1na. I know I'm supposed to tell his foster mom. But how? Should I let it be? She's heart-broken enough. I don't want to contribute to the roller-coaster ride of emotions. I needed a day. I finally told her, she deserves to know. Her feedback was polite and that she'd ask what's going on. (I just told her what's going on...) Oh well. Pray. Pray. Pray. I'm confused. My emotions are allover the place. So, like I said, everything else is beyond my control. The only thing I can do now for my sweet boy is advocate for him - hoping to find a perfect family for my perfect boy. How I wish we were it. If we are, then it's all in God's hands.
If you're reading this and want to know more, please send me a message at euefrufru at g mail dot com
Can you think of a perfect family for my boy? A boy whose paperwork looks very scary but in reality is just perfect?