Thursday, January 30, 2014

A Year Ago...

I became a mom again. This time, to a 13 month old gorgeous baby boy. He would only live with me for a few months. But those were some of the most incredible, fulfilling months of my life.
A year ago, my heart doubled in size. So many emotions. For all of us. Given the chance, I'd do it allover again. Even knowing that my heart would be broken - shattered really when the time came to hand him over to someone else and the possibility of "losing" him forever.
I love you T! I always will. You changed me forever. I hope one day I can tell you how special you are and how much joy you brought to us. You were a baby brother to a little girl who loves you dearly. I am so proud of you. Everyday I know in my heart that you are the most wonderful, courageous little boy in the world.







4 comments:

  1. He loved you too, no one could receive such love and not be changed forever. xxx

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    1. Thx Dawn. He did. We were bonded to each other.

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  2. Luciana, I hadn't checked in on your blog in quite some time after your long hiatus. I'm so sorry for the loss you've experienced, but hold fast to God's promises and your hearts desires. You helped develop a little heart that knows how to bond and love, as a mama of kids who have RAD as a result of not learning to bond that is HUGE for the long term ability for him to have healthy relationships. Allow yourself to grieve, this is important, but hold on to the dream you have to add to your family. Ours took us through 8 miscarriages, many dead end roads on our adoption journey, having to learn to help our oldest daughter adopted at 8 heal from the past of abuse and neglect that had so damaged her ability to bond and know how to give and receive love. Then later at a time when we might have been moving into the empty nest stage of our lives, getting a clear vision to move forward two more times in adding to our family, again with my now youngest daughter helping her learn to bond after her first 6 years of orphanage living. Though much safer and caring than that of our oldest daughter, it's not a family and it has a real effect on bonding. That is why your love invested in your little guy was such a blessing, that benefits him and the forever family that will be blessed as well. Your momma's heart will be filled in time, I know and trust this since it's so strong in you!! Be blessed and have peace. Praying for you all. - Lynda

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    1. Lynda, thank you for the encouraging words. I am sorry you have struggled. It seems like you are very blessed and a very brave person with a lot of wisdom.
      Hugs,
      Luciana

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